Just One Big Happy Family
by Draken Fenix
Summary: Sorry if it sucks, it's my first fic. This is an AU one-shot about my OC Big Boss clones and how they act behind closed doors with each other.


My first one-shot. Well, Since i'm just now starting to write, i'm probably gonna have a lotta firsts. Ain't I? Anywho, this is just an AU story about a few of the remaining Big Boss clones.

I don't own Metal Gear/MGS/any other spinoffs. I just own my characters. Well, Except for Black Mamba, Liberty, and Green Snake (Though I just reference them here). They belong to my brother. I also don't own Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Just One Big Happy Family

Silent Cobra was sitting, actually meditating would probably be a better word, in the company of his brothers and one of his sisters. It was pretty quiet, until his brother treid talking to him.

"Hey, Cobra." The man's voice has a very distinct Texas accent to it. In fact, the man in question looked like a typical cowboy. What most people didn't realize about this cowboy, was that he had thousands of ways to kill you with his bare hands. His name was Crushing Anaconda, one of the few remaining clones of Big Boss, "Cobra." The cowboy tried to get his brother's attention again. His brother was more of a boy really, only 19 years old. "Cobra!"

"What!? What could you possibly want from me at this time of day!?" Cobra yelled.

"I just wanted to know why you always meditate at noon."

"I meditate at this time of day to keep my psychic powers in check. If I didn't do this, some of the personalities I got from the rest of you might take me over. And then if that happened, I'd be of no help to our dear sister." Cobra responded. He was one of the few to have a wide degree of psychic powers.

"Oh. That explains a lot." Anaconda said simply.

"Wow, no wonder they've got your weakness down as 'slow'."

"What'd you say!?" Anaconda yelled back.

"C'mon Anaconda. That was a pretty good speed joke."

"Yeah, I bet all the ladies think you're funny. And they all probably agree that you're the fastest man alive." Anaconda retorted.

"What was that!?" Black Racer yelled back. Pretty soon, they were both so deep in an argument that they didn't notice the door open. A girl sat down next to Silent Cobra.

"They at it again?" Dancing Asp asked him.

"Mmhmm." He said quietly, trying to focus. Too bad, it seems like both his brothers weren't going to let him. His head twitched to his right, almost touching his shoulder. "Will both of you shutup!? Honestly, it's a wonder that Liberty ever bothered finding you! All you do is bicker with each other! It's probably enough to drive Green Snake mad, and he's the biggest pushover I've ever met!" Both of them stopped.

"So... would that be.." Racer started.

"Yep. That's Mamba's personality." Anaconda finished.

"Wow. So he does have a mental syndrome."

"You weren't there when he first went up against Jean Armand, the werewolf, were you?" Asp asked Racer.

"Nope. Please, enlighten me." Cobra, upon hearing this, returned to normal.

"No! Don't tell him! I wouldn't trust him with a cake recipe, much less a very embarrasing secret that might leak out onto the internet!" Cobra protested.

"Hmm... let's see... Nope. I'm gonna tell him." She glanced at cobra to see puppy dog eyes, but they didn't work on her. "Well, as you know I'm bi." Racer nodded. "When he met me, that little fact went into his new personality. When he fought Jean, he hadn't meditated in a while. So, of all the personalities to change into, he randomly goes into mine and starts hitting on the poor Frenchy right there." Racer just stared at his younger brother.

"You've gotta be shitting me dude." He said after a few moments.

"Not my fault, 'dude'." Cobra retorted.

"Oh, and this other time his personality swaps over to Solid Snake and he forms a cardboard box out of thin air and hides in it. Right in the middle of a fight!" Asp added to the conversation. Cobra groaned before twitching again.

"Well, excuse me miss stops to pick up a penny in a combat zone. Sheesh, I mean **I** would never do that, but I guess it's expected of you." His voice has a slight Texan twinge to it.

"That's it buddy, you're going down!" She yells before lunging at him.

"Don't blame me for being an arrogant prick. Not my fault Anaconda's got a big personality." He said calmly, creating a psychic wall to stop his older sister. The phone started ringing and Cobra picked it up. "Hello?" He asked upon answering. "Oh. Alright. Yes ma'am." He hung up.

"Who was it?" Racer asked as soon as he put the phone back on the receiver.

"Liberty. She wants us to stop bickering." Cobra said calmly.

"How does she do that?" Anaconda asked, earning a shrug from the others.

"So... anyone wanna play Brawl?" Anaconda asked the others. There was a mad scramble for the controllers, as the game turned on. Anaconda chose Ganondorf, Racer chose Sonic, Asp chose Zero Suit Samus, and Cobra chose Lucas.

"And no reading minds this time Cobra." Asp warned.

"Sure thing sister." Cobra replied with a grin, the controller was floating in the air in front of him and he was holding his hands behind his back. Unfortunately for everyone else, they didn't notive that little bit. When the fight ended and the results popped up, everyone but Cobra was appalled. Anaconda had 7 deaths, 0 kills. Racer had 6 deaths, 1 kill. Asp had 7 deaths, no kills. Cobra had no deaths and 19 kills.

"I thought you said you weren't going to read minds." Asp said to Cobra. Cobra held up his fingers.

"Crossies, it doesn't count." Cobra said with a grin. To make a long story short, when Black Mamba, Liberty, and Green Snake came home from grocery shopping, there was a huge fight to break up. Good thing Cobra's a fast healer.

Well, there we go. First story ever. Please R&R, I wanna know what I need to work on. I'll give you a muffin if you do!


End file.
